


A thing of beauty

by tehbluedragon



Category: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-13 16:27:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29031651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tehbluedragon/pseuds/tehbluedragon
Summary: It’s the year 2077 and Valerie has built a life for herself after the bombing of Arasaka tower over 50 years ago. Where she was once a simple groupie for the hit rock group Samurai, now she is a famous model. Life felt finally normal again but how will she cope when the man she was secretly pining for, Johnny Silverhand, comes back to her from the dead?
Relationships: Johnny Silverhand/Female V, Johnny Silverhand/Original Character(s), Johnny Silverhand/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 50





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! :)
> 
> So I’m not gonna lie, it’s been a hot minute since I ever last wrote a fanfic and actually published it somewhere. Maybe like 8 years? Also, I’m not a writer at all so apologies for awkward sentences or grammatical errors. I’ve never been this excited to write a story and wanted to give it a go! This story is purely for fun and a rough idea I’ve had in my head for a wee while. I’ll see how the reception is to this and maybe continue but I’ve started up uni again so I might struggle.
> 
> Any comments are appreciated!
> 
> Thanks!

“Alright could you just tilt your head up for me darling- yes yes just like that!”

“Give me that elegant sex appeal! We need these perfume bottles flying off the shelves! Perfect!”

Bright, white lights flashed at a rapid pace in the peripheral of Valerie’s vision as she held a perfume bottle daintily in one hand and her other framing her face. She looked at the glass bottle like it would hold the the secret to eternal beauty. 

“Ok that’s magnificent just need one more pose are and we’re done for today” the photographer said, eyes glued to the camera and making slight adjustments for reasons beyond Valerie’s expertise.

Letting her body settle back to a more natural pose, she gladly took the short moment of rest before she was instructed further. It’s funny, Valerie thinks, from time to time in these fleeting moments, how mundane life had become. Her life hadn’t always been easy but here she was now, becoming the poster woman of some fragrance she hated the smell of all in the name of corporate branding and heaps of eddies. How ironic.

“I need you to look at the camera this time- but keep that bottle close to your face like you absolutely adore it!”

_Ugh. Fuck this perfume._

The photo shoot, that felt like it would never end, was finally over. Valerie sat in the dressing room as her personal makeup artist began removing the makeup he had taken so long to apply only hours before. He was a sweet guy. They would talk often to pass the time. He liked to go on about his gonk boyfriend that was just in it for the sex and barely any romance. Safe to say he dumped his ass and of course, he came crawling back with empty promises. Certainly gave Valerie something to giggle about.

“Great work today as always Valerie-”, she watched her manager in the mirror as the middle aged woman stepped into the room, “Just need to go over a few things before you’re done”.

The man beside her ceases his gossip for the moment as he continues his work. Valerie hums in acknowledgement as the woman types away at the pad in her hand, not once looking up from the device. Does anyone in this god forsaken city make eye contact when talking anymore!? God she feels old. Valerie quickly pushes her personal gripes aside a she awaits a response.

“That foreign fashion designer has finally finished his clothing line, for good this time, that he still wants you personally to model” she pauses, one of her many assistants approaches and whispers in her ear before handing her another, smaller device that takes up her attention. 

“Wait, you mean the guy that completely scrapped his entire collection came up with a completely new one over night?” Valerie asks bewildered. She remembered showing up to the studio to find all the clothes she was shown the night before ripped to pieces all over the floor with said fashion designer on his knees in tears. She automatically assumed someone must’ve broken in but the man was bawling about it not being true to his vision, that he was a failure or whatever. Months of work down the drain. She didn’t know how he was able to function with such wild mood swings.

“Yeah well sort of. He seemed to have a change of heart and remade the whole thing with some minor changes so that he doesn’t lose his mind. Besides, if we show up tomorrow and the clothing isn’t destroyed, this will be good for your international brand. Guy maybe a nut job but his work is highly valued” her manager finished, pocketing the smaller device before fiddling with the pad once again.

“That’s all that’s on the agenda tomorrow?” 

The woman finally looks up from the device, “You also have a quick meeting with a BD director for an upcoming music video”

“Wait, doesn’t that seem a little outside of my profession?”

Did her manager think she was a dancing monkey, ready to perform in whatever role she wanted her to? Why doesn’t she go over these things with her in the first place!?

“It’s fine, Valerie. I’m told it’s a smaller role, only a couple scenes. Nothing major. The company is hoping this will grow ties within the music industry. Pretty faces in music BDs is good for business”

With her makeup removed, she stood up from her chair and started to collect her belongings.

“Next you’ll want me to do a stand-up comedian show” sighing, pulling on her fluffy white coat, “Anything else?”

“An interview the day after tomorrow and that’s it for the week. Word of advice, you might want to drop the attitude. I can’t have you souring up our reputation”

Slinging her purse over her shoulder, Valerie made her way to the door.

“Our reputation is already in the shitter ever since our former CEO ended up resigning because he was a sleaze-bag who couldn’t keep his hands to himself but sure-“ Valerie turns her head, “I’ll be on my best behaviour” She ended, with a sickeningly sweet smile before leaving the room.

—

The streets of Night City never seemed to change in all the time she had lived. The dreary, neon-lit buildings and alleys looked the same now than they did back then all those years. If you looked at Valerie, you would have thought she was just another young and arrogant individual amongst many but behind her youthful appearance, she held her own ancient demons. Watching the rain fall down in mesmerising streaks across the car window, Valerie couldn’t help but feel things were different. Everyday had felt the same since then, but today, something was off. She didn’t know whether if it was anxiety or maybe she was finally becoming senile. 

Her phone buzzing shook her from her thoughts.

“Hey Ker, what’s up?”

“Hey hey Val! You busy? Wait, don’t answer that. Don’t care. Get your butt over here I’ve finally got an idea for a new song and I need my best gal to listen to it!” 

Kerry always managed to put a smile on Valerie’s face. He was a true rockerboy at heart; a little archaic and true to who he is but despite this, he could be a real softy at heart, though, not by his own admission. Gotta keep that cool persona intact.

“I don’t know how you do it Ker. You’re timing is impeccable as always. Just finished up and on my way home” Valerie replies, conceded sarcasm dripping from her words.

“Well? Turn your wheels around and get here ASAP! Tardiness will not be tolerated!” 

Valerie couldn’t help but let out a chuckle.

“Okay! Okay! Keep your wig on I’m on my way now” Valerie motions to her driver to Kerry’s address.

“Preem! See you soon babe”

With a electronic click, he hung up. Mr Eurodyne’s residence it was then.

—

Valerie couldn’t help but admire the area of North Oak. Quiet, scenic hills over looking a fraction of what Night City has to offer. Although, the place hasn’t been able to escape the gangs and violence that run rampant elsewhere. Much less likely to get mugged or stabbed but Valerie would definitely not go for a leisurely stroll alone. 

The car twisted and turned up the windy road, climbing higher and higher up past the gaudy North Oak sign. Perhaps the only reason she decided against buying a property here. That and the travel time to and from her work didn’t sound appealing. She was used to the ever constant hum of NC and she was slightly unsettled by any moment of genuine quiet. 

Turning the last corner, Kerry’s mansion came into view as it peaked over the solid, white, stone fence surrounding the land. Rolling up to the gate, the one with the even gaudier Samurai logo in gold and silver, it opened automatically as the vehicle pulled up to the front door.

“You can finish up for today, I’ll probably be here a while” her driver quietly nods as she steps out the car, metal and plastic meeting concrete. As the vehicle pulls away, Valerie strolls up to the mansion doors. Honestly, she couldn’t see in a million years Kerry ever living in a place like this but she guessed, times had changed very much. She couldn’t help but still feel the whiplash when he showed her his new purchase.

_“Really? You gonna live it up with the 1% up here?” Valerie said in light-hearted disbelief, taking in the huge building before locking eyes with the man, hoping that there was some joke she wasn’t getting._

_“Yeah! I mean, I have all this money lying about. Gotta spend it on something am I right? Besides, this beats any dingy motel by miles”_

God it felt like yesterday this place was brand new and newly furbished.

Stepping into the home, the familiar chaotic mess helped her to relax. Despite the place resembling a pigsty more than a multi-million euro-dollar mansion, it felt like a second home to her. She could deal with the empty bottles and take-out food containers. After all, she lived amongst such filth all too often in her youth.

Tossing her artic white coat on the grand piano that definitely looked like it hadn’t been played since it was purchased, she called out.

“Gonna keep a girl waiting or are you gonna invite me in properly?” 

The sound of movement upstairs caught her attention, as quiet profanity could barely be heard over bottles being knocked over. Kerry emerged from the upstairs balcony area as he stood at top of the stairs.

“Val! I do humbly apologise-“ he paused midway down the staircase to bow as he held onto the hand rail, “it was never my intent to offend m’lady” reaching the ground floor and clutching her hand gently in both of his. Valerie rolled her eyes, the joke going on longer than she could bare. She punched his shoulder making the man recoil and lose grip of her hand.

“Such a gonk as always-“ a smile begrudgingly making its way onto her face, “so, what is this masterpiece you want me to listen to?” 

Kerry chuckles.

“It’s just in the baby stages but I think you’re gonna see the real potential” The man says with enthusiasm that he could barely contain. He motions her to follow him further into the home as he rambled on about his new piece that Valerie could only half understand. She understood music jargon but Kerry had his own unique way at describing music that took Valerie a lifetime to somewhat piece together into a coherent sentence.

“Where did this creativity come from? Last time you told me you were burnt out” They approached a set of couches surrounding a coffee table that had all sorts of junk on it. Valerie took the initiative and sat down, crossing one mechanical leg over the other. She was concerned for her long time friend. Although they were close, Valerie could only see him every now and then. When she had read in the scream sheets that Kerry nearly attempted suicide, Valerie was quick to call. Kerry had told her it was a publicity stunt but she had reasons to believe otherwise. Nowadays, Kerry was doing a bit better. He had collaborated with the Japanese pop group Us Cracks which was a total shift in tone for Kerry but he seemed to like the girls. Though, he hadn’t created an original single in years.

“I don’t know it just... hit me! Y’know? Feels like something is shifting and I’m actually excited to make music again”

Valerie felt her doubts wash away and she was happy for Kerry. Truly. He deserved to be happy after all the shit he’s been through.

“Well, lay it on me Ker”

—  
Hours later, Valerie and Kerry where laying in half-drunken stupors as they’re music session turned into reminiscing the good old days. In Valerie’s buzzed state, she could feel uncontrollable giggles emerging from her throat. A sign she was one drink away from completely losing it.

“Denny was soooooo mad at you! She looked like she was ready to rip your head off!” Valerie snorts, covering her mouth to contain her laughter. She remembered that night well. It was one of Samurai’s biggest gigs yet and Denny had gone all out on her outfit. A pure white, leather jacket that she had spent a pretty eddie on and Kerry managed to spill a drink all over it. One that would stain. A questionable brown stain.

“If she loved the thing so damn much why’d she leave it out on the couch? Besides, I didn’t spill the drink, it was Johnn- I was pushed! I was completely innocent!”

“Uh-huh. And you paid her, in full, for the jacket. You know. Like someone feeling guilty for the crime they committed would do”

“Only because she didn’t talk to me for like, two weeks straight!”

“Riiiiiiight” Valerie drew out, earning her an empty can thrown in her direction that she barely managed to deflect.

Kerry finished laughing as he dragged his body up, using the couch to bare his weight.

“As much as I wish we were still back in the good old days, what you gonna do? Wanna crash here?” Kerry offered, standing up and stretching his back with a noticeable pop.

“Nah I need to go home. Got another busy day tomorrow I can’t skip. Y’know, for the good of the company” Valerie air quoted as she stood up as well.

“Aaaand? Get home with what car? A taxi?”

Valerie half-shrugged. 

“Nope. Nu-uh. I’m driving you. Come on”

She had no time to argue as Kerry made his way to the door, turning back mid walk looking at her expectingly. Valerie sighed, rubbing her neck as she followed after him.

—

Valerie waved to Kerry as he pulled away from the pavement and back in the direction of North Oak. The street lights seemed to swallow his car as it disappeared from view. Valerie could only think of her comfy bed and the velvet sheets that awaited her as exhaustion from the day and the drink started to hit her. Just past midnight. And she needed to be awake for nine tomorrow. She groaned internally as she cursed herself for staying so late. Maybe when she was younger it would be a piece of cake. Waking up bright eyed and bushy-tailed on three hours sleep. Nowadays, one hour less than the recommended and she would be groggy for the remainder of the day.

Entering the lobby of the luxury apartments, the security guard at the reception nodded in polite greeting as she made her way to the lift. Pressing the electronic panel for the top floor, the screen confirming access, she ascended to her pent house. In her opinion, a better alternative for her lifestyle.

Reaching the top, the doors slid open and she took only a couple steps inside and froze. A noise could be heard deeper within the apartment that sounded like... a guitar? Her guitar. _His_ guitar.

As she quietly walked further down the hallway, the song was becoming clearer to her now as the person played on. The notes seemed to bounce off the walls as the musician played with a certain finesse that reminded her of- No. No no no it couldn’t-

She rounded the corner, honing in on the music that was coming from the living room. She pulled out the handgun from her purse before dropping the bag onto the floor.

_A thing of beauty - I know  
Will never fade away  
What you did to me - I know  
Said what you had to say  
But a thing of beauty  
Will never fade away_

Valerie couldn’t stop humming the words in her head as the all too familiar tune continued. She thought of calling for security but she wanted to deal with the bastard on her own terms.

She silently stepped towards the couches as a figure sat in the middle, only a mop of black shoulder length hair and a wisp of smoke could be be seen. 

Valerie got halfway before the figure finally noticed her presence and stopped strumming the instrument. The apartment was plunged into a deadly silence.

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t blow your brains out right now” Valerie gritted, a chaotic mix of anger, fear, adrenaline coursed through her.

The figure before her didn’t even flinch.

“Was wondering when you’d show. Thought I had the wrong place. Would’ve been hella awkward”

That... voice? That calm and collected voice she knew all too- No. No way. This had be some sort of sick joke. Her handle on the gun remained firm as she fought an internal battle.

“W-what...?” She whimpered out lamely.

The figure chuckled. Fondly.

“Sounds like you haven’t changed one bit” the stranger replied, reaching for the cigarette with a silver hand-

Standing up from the couch, the figure laid the guitar on the coffee table and stubbed the cigarette out in the ash tray. Turning, he removed the burgundy aviators from his face.

“It’s been a while, V”

Her gun clattered to the ground.

Johnny.

_Fucking._

Silverhand.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for: un-consensual drug use, accidental dismemberment (mentioned, no gory details).
> 
> I’m here with another chapter! :) I’m writing as I go along so still trying to iron out the details and what I want to include but I’ve got a general gist of what I want to do. I don’t want to make this story super long because I feel like I’ll just end up writing forever but we’ll see lmao.
> 
> Enjoy!

_Pain. That’s all she could feel when she woke up. Last night’s events were a blur as she tried to piece together what little she did remember. Though, that couldn’t be further from what she wanted to think about right now. Right now she was busy puking up her guts and not feeling like she was on the verge of death._

_“Val honey? You alright in there?” She could hear Denny’s concerned voice through the bathroom door. As sweet as the woman was, Valerie was definitely not alright. She couldn’t even lie to herself._

_“No-“ she braced herself against the cracked toilet. “I’m not alright. Far from it” she wiped away the sweat that was accumulating on her forehead._

_There was a short pause._

_“Want me to get you something? A drink or?”_

_“Yeah sure whatever”_

_Valerie just wanted to suffer in peace._

_“Okay I’ll be right back”_

_As Denny’s footsteps faded away, Valerie sat back from the toilet and clutched her stomach. She fought back a wave of nausea as she wondered how things could’ve gone so wrong for her to be in this mess. Well. How could it not. She lived in Night City. She was practically begging for her life to go down hill. She grasped at the material of her Samurai tank top as she willed for the sickness to go away. Did she eat something bad? She knew food in NC was sketchy as all hell but this felt extreme. She continued to collect her thoughts of last night’s events. They were playing a gig and things could’ve gone better. They practically had to beg to get to play there as the manager didn’t want any damages to the place. Why they even allowed a punk rock group known for its pro-anarchy tendencies to play was beyond her. Guess with enough eddies anyone could be convinced. Though clearly not enough to be satisfied as the place was absolutely trashed. The destruction was led by none other than Johnny-_

_A wave of memories resurfaced as she was getting closer to her conclusion. Slowly picking herself up from the stained tiles, she held herself against the sink, hoping to steady herself as the world around her spun._

_She remembered the sour mood everyone was in. Denny and Kerry really let Johnny have it. On top of being blacklisted within the area, they also had to pay a hefty fine for damages. Not only that, Valerie had a run in with some fans before the show that wouldn’t take no for an answer. The glares that trailed up her body felt tangible. The unwarranted comments and compliments made her sick to her stomach. Thankfully, Kerry came along and defused the situation before things got worse. Safe to say, Valerie felt like shit. Everyone did but she felt extra shitty._

_A quiet knock at the door dragged her back to reality._

_“I got you some energy drinks. Didn’t know what flavour you’d like so I got a few”_

_“Thanks Denny”_

_“You feeling any better?”_

_“I will do in a sec just- just give me a minute”_

_“Okay, well, if you think you can stomach it, a few of us are going to that coffee place for some grub so feel free to join us” Denny finished, leaving Valerie alone with her thoughts._

_Valerie kept her eyes trained on the dirty sink as she struggled to look up at her reflection. She traced the lines of cracks that trailed out from under her hands, anything to distract her from reality. Though, she knew, sooner or later she’d have to face the music. Dragging her gaze from the nausea inducing synth-porcelain, she was not looking any better. Smudgy, black tear stains trailed down her pale face. Her pale blue eyes had even darker rings that painfully accentuated the bags underneath them. The lipstick she wore might as well not be there as more than half it was smeared off. Her dyed pink hair was a mess and matted in a few places. Looking at the sight of herself, she wanted to cry but she knew that it would do her no good. She still needed to figure out what happened. Turning on the tap, she began to scrub of the mess as her mind churned once again._

_After the disaster that was the gig, the band retreated to a nearby motel, the only establishment that would take them in or not care if a mess was made. With money being tight, Valerie shared a room with Denny for the night. Valerie was in no mood to talk the woman in the confined space so she sat outside on the curb, a rare cigarette in hand. Johnny just so happened to be out for a smoke as well and joined her. He offered if she wanted a couple drinks and she obliged, wanting more than just nicotine to take the edge off. After that, it was blank._

_Valerie was all too familiar with bad hangovers with many countless nights out drinking and this did not feel like one of those. She had an idea what the cause was for her ailment but the thought made her blood boil. Only one way to find out._

_Pushing herself from the sink, she grabbed a dirty T-shirt to dry her face with and stormed out the motel room. She needed to find Johnny. Now._

_Henry, who just so happened to be lurking around the parking lot, was the first to face her boiling rage._

_“Henry? Where the fuck is Johnny?” She seethed, stopping abruptly in front of the man as he leaned against a vending machine, clearly going through his own post-night sickness._

_He looked her up and down._

_“What’s got you so fucking worked up?” The man challenged, in a mood of his own._

_“Tell me where he is or so help me-“_

_“Okay! Fuck... He’s still in his room... Christ... chill the fuck out choom...” he grumbled as Valerie stomped away towards Johnny’s room. She banged on the door._

_“Johnny!? You’ve got some explaining to do!! Let me in!!” She yelled, ignoring the other patrons of the motel trying to shut her up._

_A few seconds passed and no response._

_“Johnny don’t ignore me!!”_

_Almost immediately, she gets a quiet response._

_“The door’s unlocked you don’t need to yell...”_

_Johnny sounded calmer than she expected considering she was practically banging down his door but she stepped into the room regardless, eager to get her answer. The room was a mirror image of the one she was staying in, though this one had the some wall panels hanging off and a giant stain in the carpet. Johnny, who’s seemed unbothered by the raging woman in his motel room, was sprawled on his back on the dingy mattress without a care in the world._

_“What can I do for you ma’am?” Johnny asked sarcastically._

_Valerie was tempted to kill the rockerboy right then and there but she managed to restrain herself._

_“I need you to answer me honestly- and don’t give me any bullshit!!” Valerie paced about the foot of the bed._

_Johnny held up his right hand in a three-fingered salute._

_“Scout’s honour”_

_“Last night when we were drinking, did you spike my fucking drink!?”_

_Johnny laid there, motionless._

_“Johnny!!!” She was screaming at this point._

_“So what if I did?... You... you seriously needed to relax and I helped you out...” Johnny slurred out his words making Valerie scrunch up her face._

_“Are you still high!? Godammit!!” Valerie couldn’t hold herself back as she smacked Johnny across the face. The man barely recoiled due to the drugs still coursing through his system but his cheek was undoubtedly bright red from the impact. With the sudden burst of rage, Valerie could feel herself calming down as she instantly felt guilty for hitting him. She could feel tears threatening to fall as she sat at the edge of the bed._

_“You’re such a fucking asshole Johnny...” she choked, trying hard not cry._

_She sat there for so long that it felt like hours, wallowing in self pity as she struggled to leave Johnny’s side. She hoped that he would tell her he was lying, that it was all some big joke but the man beside her stayed silent. Suddenly, she felt coldness cover her hand._

_“M’sorry...” Johnny let out quietly, barely moving his metal thumb across her knuckles. Valerie stayed still._

_“You looked... so... so sad and I... didn’t know what to... do”_

_There was a sad sincerity behind Johnny’s words but Valerie didn’t know if he actually meant them or if it was due to his current state. Valerie let herself believe it was real._

_“Don’t do it again” she said, just as quietly._

_Another pause._

_“Okay...”_

_Valerie got up from the bed, her hand slipping from his metal one, and left the room without another word._

—

This had to be a dream. Yes. There’s no way that Johnny was standing in her living room. Maybe a scary lookalike? Valerie seemed to shut down as she barely moved trying to process the situation. Johnny stayed were he was, fiddling with the arms of his glasses between two fingers.

“H-how...? How are you...?” Valerie whimpered, feeling a cold sweat all down her body.

Johnny let out a sigh, gaze falling to the floor as he seemed to be contemplating what he was going to say next.

“It’s a pretty long and fucked up story but... you seem to not be taking this... as well as I’d hoped”

Huh...? What did he mean by that? How else was she supposed to react?!

“What did you- how...? No... I saw you die! You! Died!” 

Valerie was slowly getting her words together as she remembered the night of the raid of Arasaka tower, an old memory she had forced herself to forget. Now it was all resurfacing after fifty long years. Flying onto the roof. Breaking into the building. The bomb. The _nuclear_ bomb.

Valerie gripped her hand so tightly her nails pierced her palm.

“Look, let’s just sit for a bit and-“

Johnny barely got his words out as Valerie punched him in the face. Hard.

“How could you lie to me!? You and fucking Rogue!! Do you have any idea what you’ve done!?” Valerie shrieked as Johnny was knocked to the floor, taken by surprise at the strength that came from the woman. All Johnny could do was cup his face as he stared up in shock.

“You’re little stunt killed thousands of innocent people!! You told me we were gonna blow up the tower!! Not put a fucking crater in the middle of the city!!”

Johnny tried to interject but Valerie was far from done.

“What where you thinking!? Where you planning to take us all down with you if things went sideways!? Did you even care what the outcome was?!” Valerie was pacing about on the spot before Johnny.

“To think!! I went with your sorry ass ‘cause I was worried you wouldn’t come back!!” She stopped her pacing and faced Silverhand still lying in the floor.

“Fuck you Johnny!! I don’t care what you have to say!! Get the hell out of my home!!” With her rant finished, she stormed away to the bathroom, locked the door, and slumped down to the floor.

Valerie immediately burst into tears. All those years of pent up rage finally came bursting out from the deepest part of her. What was she supposed to do? The man she thought dead suddenly appeared after all these years? All those unanswered questions finally could get an answer to them but, did Valerie want them answered? She built a life for herself. Things finally felt right. For once, things made sense but now? She could feel her world collapsing around her. What was she going to do? 

A quiet knock came at the door.

“V?”

Valerie buried her head in her arms, legs tucked her chest. She just wanted to fade away.

“Go away...” Valerie croaked.

Valerie thought he had left but he responded a few minutes later.

“V... I can’t take back what I’ve done but... if could just listen for moment... please”

Valerie stilled. Johnny actually sounded...? Remorseful? She didn’t say anything and Johnny took it as cue to continue.

“I didn’t mean for so many people to get... hurt-“ he swallowed thickly, “That wasn’t my plan. I knew the risks going in but, I wasn’t gonna let you die for my cause”

Valerie remained silent.

“Truth is... I was a fucking idiot. Thought that I could solve my problems in a blaze of glory but...” Johnny struggled to put more words out but Valerie finally responded.

“Why are you telling me this...? Why did you have to come to me...?” 

“Well, truth is... I thought you died too... You have no idea how relieved I was when that wasn’t the case but... I came here because you deserved to know the truth and well, now you know”

Johnny sounded different than he usually did, or at least what Valerie remembered. She wiped her eyes with the heel of her palm and stood up from the floor. A sense of calm came about her as she opened the door.

The man still stood on the other side, a good few inches taller than her, nose dripping with blood from Valerie’s punch.

“Go sit down. I’ll get something to clean that up with” she said calmly.

Johnny did what he was told as Valerie pulled out a cloth from underneath the sink, dampening the soft material before heading out to the living room. Removing her coat and draping it over a chair, she sat down next to Johnny. Gently titling his head to face her, she began to mop up the blood that stained his nostrils and upper lip. Neither said a word as he allowed her to continue, the once pearly white fabric now stained a near crimson red.

Once she had finished, she dropped her hand that held the cloth to her lap as her other still touched Johnny’s face. She focused her gaze on her fingers that grazed his beard as Johnny silently observed her.

Letting out a sigh, she dropped her hand and turned away to place the cloth on the coffee table. They sat like that for what felt like ages.

Johnny was the first to break the silence.

“What happened to your legs?” He asked with a tinge of guilt, already knowing his answer.

Valerie hadn’t thought about her legs in some time. They were so normal to her but now she was all too aware of them with her present company.

“When we tried to escape and the helicopter crashed, I was crushed by rubble. Doctors said my legs were too damaged and had to be replaced” she said, tracing her fingers across the seam at her mid-thigh that connected metal and skin.

“I’m not bothered by them, in fact, isn’t it all the rage to have more cybernetics? I mean, some celebrities are completely made out of chrome so this is nothing” Valerie said, trying to be lighthearted.

“That might be true but they asked to be that way. You, on the other hand, didn’t”

Valerie thought for a moment.

“So...? What’s your point?” Valerie answered timidly.

“My point is- fuck...” Johnny cursed.

They stayed like that for a little longer before Valerie stood up and faced him.

“Look- it’s late and I need to be awake in the morning” Valerie struggled to meet his gaze.

“If you don’t have a place to stay, just crash here for tonight” she offered, grabbing her coat.

“Thanks V” Johnny said, not meeting her gaze either.

Valerie retreated upstairs to her bedroom, trying to put the night’s events into perspective. Johnny hadn’t seen her in so long, it must’ve been a shock to see how she is now. Cybernetic legs, embracing her natural white blonde hair, living in a really nice pent house and not some dump. Things really had changed but that’s what scared Valerie.

Not bothering to change into any pyjamas, she flopped down onto the bed in her underwear.

She barely slept that night.


	3. Chapter. 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took me way longer to write out because I was trying to get everything to be as coherent as possible. Also my longest chapter so far! 
> 
> Things are starting to get a little interesting ;)

Drifting in and out of sleep, Valerie felt like she was stuck in time. She was dreaming but it was hard to focus on any one thing as her mind darted back and forth between thoughts. Long forgotten memories resurfaced, completely new scenarios were created with familiar faces, and everything else in between. She wanted to wake from the never ending nightmare but she felt like her body was tying her down. 

She finally could focus on one dream were she stood in a long, narrow hallway with no colour or specific details. It was almost if the place existed within a void. Valerie could see a figure in the distance as she made her way down the endless corridor. As she got closer and closer to the stranger, she could make out certain features until she was standing next to them. They bothered stared down the endless corridor.

“Somehow I imagined things would end up this way”

Oh. It’s Johnny. Huh.

She turned her head to look at the man, glasses covering his eyes and a cigarette brought to his lips.

“Yeah... I guess that’s what happens to people like us” Valerie responded, with words not of her own choice.

Johnny grunted in agreement.

They stayed like that for some time, Valerie didn’t move and Johnny kept smoking his endless cigarette.

“How about we get out of here? This place is really putting a damper on my mood” Johnny concluded, throwing the cigarette butt to the ground and put it out with the heel of his shoe.

Of course Valerie wanted to go with him. She wanted to be by his side wherever he went, making sure he was ok. She’d follow him to the ends of the earth but... the words couldn’t come out. She couldn’t get herself to say it.

Valerie turned to Johnny and he did the same.

“I can’t... I... you know I have to stay. Here” 

Wherever here was.

Valerie didn’t quite know what she was saying but a part of her unconscious self agreed. She had to stay here.

Johnny nodded slowly, looking away to some random spot on the ground. He seemed to accept why she couldn’t go.

“Okay. No use in forcing you. Always were a stubborn bitch but that’s what I like about you” Johnny chuckled, looking up to meet her eyes but she couldn’t see his. Valerie stayed quiet. Not needing to speak anymore.

Johnny held out his metal hand, gripping something. Valerie held out both of hers. He placed the dog tags he always wore, the two metal pieces clinking together as they made a nest amongst the necklace.

“Keep a hold of those for me”

Although Johnny deposited the tags in her care, they still rested upon his chest, where they always were. Valerie couldn’t even imagine Johnny without them, even within a dream.

He finally removed his glasses and she could stare deep into his eyes.

“Just... don’t forget about me? Okay?”

All Valerie could do was stare at the man in front of her as she felt a wave of a bittersweet feelings. Johnny placed the glasses back on his face and walked off down the hallway, though this time there was a warm yellow glow. The end was in sight.

She wanted to grab his arm, wanted to yell at him to come back, to stay with her but all she could do was watch as his figure fading into the light. 

That’s when Valerie jolted awake.

A cold sweat could be felt down her back as she stared up at the ceiling. Valerie couldn’t make heads or tails about her dream but she started to forget it already. Who was it that she saw? Agh... why can she never remember?

Valerie looked to her nightstand at the arguably retro clock. The blaring red numbers told her it was 6:30 am. It felt like she was sleeping forever, what with her endless dreams. It meant she only got five hours of sleep. Great. 

Exhaustion befell her as her body attempted to wake up. No matter how much cell therapy she went through to have her youthful appearance, it was undeniable that her real age was catching up to her. Her eyes felt heavy from the tears she shed last night as she wiped at them to get rid of the feeling. Right. Last night. Johnny. Alive.

Not wanting to face the reality of her situation just yet, she got up from the warm sheets and headed for her en suite. A shower had never felt so good right now. Washing away at the grime and sweat, the water beat down relentlessly against her skin. Her mind wondered to more mundane thoughts.

Cleaners should be coming round soon... What’s for breakfast? Think there’s some bread for toast... ooh maybe bacon? Eggs? Why not. Got that clothing line to model today. Hopefully. Meeting with BD director... really don’t wanna do that.

As it seemed her schedule was full up for the day, Valerie lamented that it wasn’t the weekend yet. She just wanted to stay in and watch some shows or anything really, as long as it wasn’t work. Alas, it couldn’t be.

Turning the shower off, she grabbed a towel on the way out and dried herself. Finding a new set of underwear, she slipped seamlessly into the lingerie and deposited the dirty ones into the laundry basket. Opening her walk-in wardrobe, she selected a tight-fitting half-jumpsuit. The sleeveless garment was designed specifically for her body type, considering she couldn’t wear much on her legs without them poking holes in the fabric. It was sad really. Most she could wear nowadays was shorts, skirts, dresses, and her modified jumpsuits. She couldn’t wear cute tights like she used to. Her favourite pair of black boots from back in the day were the only pair that took up a space in the unused shoe rack. Valerie wasn’t willing to let go of them yet. Not to mention she spent quite a bit of eddies on them as well.

Leaving the wardrobe, she set about doing her skincare routine some expert dermatologist recommended for her. Not that she was complaining. It felt good to have someone else help her pick the right choices. No way in a million years would Valerie have known to use half the stuff she was given. Letting the creams and ointments settle into her skin, she quickly dried her hair, knowing she would have it done later.

Standing up from her vanity, the moment she had been dreading was finally upon her. Maybe it was one of her dreams? Her morning had been relatively normal so far but she knew she couldn’t kid herself any longer. Taking a deep breath, she opened her bedroom door.

Everything within her apartment felt like it had stilled, like there wasn’t another soul within the place. Maybe Johnny already left? Valerie ignored the pang of sadness in her chest and descended the stairs.

The almost sterile but homey whiteness of her furniture and decor greeted her like they always did every morning. The sun’s early rays glinted off glass and gold metal alike. The very aesthetic of her home was a far cry of her punk and metal look from years ago.

Valerie was headed for her kitchen when she heard a gentle snore. She whipped her head towards the sound coming from the couch. Slowly padding over, she peered over the seat to find Johnny still fast asleep. He laid on his side with one arm underneath a pillow and the other resting across his stomach. He had taken his shoes and glasses off as they lay atop and underneath her coffee table, his guitar still sitting where it had been last night.

It was rare to see Johnny look so vulnerable. His brows were slightly furrowed and his lips were parted ever so slightly as gentle and calms breaths sounded from him. His hair had fallen round the back of his neck, exposing his ear and neck that would usually be swallowed by the black strands.

Valerie felt a weird mixture of relief and uncertainty as she stood over the slumbering man. It still didn’t feel real. But it was. He was alive and fast asleep like a baby in her living room. 

Ah. She forgot to give him a blanket.

Grabbing the throw from her other settee, she gently draped the soft fabric over Johnny, the man gently stirring before settling again. 

With food still on her mind, she went to the kitchen. Taking out all the foods she had thought of from her pantry, she set about preparing a meal. Or two.

Half an hour had passed as she sat at her large dining table, bigger than she really needed. Not like she had that many friends she’d want to invite over for a meal she couldn’t cook anyway. Valerie swirled the remnants of her coffee as she absentmindedly listened to the news on the holo display. More news about gang violence, this time Maelstrom had blocked an entire highway to get at a weapons truck, some news about celebs she didn’t care about, and everything else in between.

Just as she was finishing the last crust of her toast, she heard Johnny start to stir awake. She downed the last of her coffee like it was a shot.

Johnny sat up slowly as the blanket pooled about his waist. Raking a hand through his hair, he seemed to take moment to observe his surroundings. Valerie couldn’t help but make a teasing remark.

“Good morning sleeping beauty” she cooed as she lowered the volume of the TV.

Johnny seemed to ignore her playfulness as he mumbled a sleepy ‘Mornin’ back. He slipped his shoes back on and grabbed his glasses, favouring to hang them on his tank top than wear them.

“I made some leftovers but you’ll need to heat it up. Coffee should still be warm though” Valerie gestured to the stove in the kitchen.

With an unusual quiet, Johnny gathered the various breakfast items and shoved them in the microwave. He never was a morning person.

He poured himself the rest of the coffee into a spotless, white mug and sat down across from Valerie with his play full of food. Neither of them spoke as Valerie let him eat in piece before the inevitable questions would come.

Silverhand ate like he never had a meal in his life, hardly taking a rest between mouthfuls. Jeez... when was the last time he ate? Valerie felt a bit of dread in her stomach as she it felt like she was going to find out shortly.

Once he had finished, he sat back into the chair, chewing the last bits of food. Valerie quietly gathered all the dishes and left the on the sink before returning to the table again. She leaned her elbows on the table, hands clutched like a silent prayer as she brought her lips to them. A palpable silence hung in the air.

“Got somewhere to be?” Johnny gestured to her outfit.

“Yes but I’ve still got time” she answered, not meeting his gaze.

There was pause before Johnny started again.

“Look. This isn’t gonna be easy to explain, hell, I don’t really understand it all myself really”

Valerie quickly looked up.

“What’s not easy to explain about hiding away when all your friends thought you were dead?” Valerie accused, feeling the bubbling rage resurfacing.

“All my other friends are either dead or not my friends at all-“ Valerie was about to speak but Johnny raised his hand as he continued, “but that not the point. The point is I didn’t hide. I don’t hide”

Valerie’s brow furrowed in confusion.

“What- what do you mean? If you weren’t hiding then what where you doing?” He still wasn’t in the clear.

Johnny seemed to be dancing about the subject, becoming more restless with each word.

“I don’t want you to think I’m bullshitting you or trying to come up with some made up story”

Valerie caught on to why he was so unsure of himself.

“You don’t think... I’d believe you?”

Valerie looked into his eyes when he finally settled at her statement. Resting his metal arm on the table and his other bracing on his knee, he averted his gaze.

“Probably... I dunno...”

A contemplative sadness appeared on his features, making Valerie feel unsure of her feelings anymore. She was supposed to be mad at him but... she couldn’t help but feel guilty for blowing up at him. For hitting him too...

“Johnny”

He looked back up again.

“You can tell me anything and I’ll listen, you know that” Valerie half-whispered.

Johnny had hurt and lied to her in the past, but she wasn’t a victim. She had hurt him too and she wasn’t proud of it. She knew he felt the same. They had a silent mutual agreement that no matter what shit the other put them through, they always had each other’s backs. Just a couple of giant losers.

Johnny took a deep breath.

“After incident at the tower, Arasaka took me as their little prisoner. Well, that’s what I thought at first. Interrogated me to make me snitch but it seemed they had more on their mind”

Johnny rummaged in his trouser pocket for a cigarette, lighting it and taking a drag. Valerie pushed a crystal ash tray she had on the table towards him.

“Turns out, they were wanting to test out their new toys and I was unfortunately a prime subject. Soulkiller, Alt’s black program stolen by Arasaka”

Johnny took another pause to smoke some more.

“Turned my mind into an engram designed to be able to be plugged back into a suitable host and completely override the brain at all costs. Though, it turns out they couldn’t get rid of my body. Wanted to know the limitations of the relic’s compatibility and wanted to make sure it could be uploaded back in case something went wrong”

Horrified didn’t even come close to what Valerie was feeling. She felt sick to her stomach.

“Are you meaning telling me... that you were inside this... relic... all these years?”

Johnny nodded slowly.

“Wasn’t conscious for any of it though. Fifty years just went by just like that. Turns out I was only the first of many of Saburo’s enemies to end up as fucking frozen food with our minds stuck in soul prison”

Valerie could only stare at Johnny with her mouth hung open and eyebrows furrowed. She knew Arasaka was cruel, but this was just plain evil. 

“The Secure Your Soul program... they’ve started to accept people who can pay for it now... all this time they held you hostage and... nobody knew...” 

Valerie brought a hand to her forehead as the information started to sink in. All this time she could have done something but she was blissfully unaware as she assumed he was gone for good.

“How on Earth did you escape by yourself?”

“I didn’t, turns out Alt was in the deep web and came across some info from netrunners about Arasaka’s evil doings, specifically her program that they stole. Promised those same netrunners safe access to the deep web in return for getting my sorry ass out of there. Of course she didn’t keep her end of the bargain and I had to deal with some gonk bitchin’ and whining’ about not getting payed”

“You talked to Alt?”

Valerie hardly knew the woman that was Johnny’s ex-girlfriend. She had some brief run-ins with her back when Valerie started following Samurai around. She was nice to talk to the time they did have conversations and she was insanely beautiful too. Hearing that Arasaka led her death was upsetting to hear and it affected Johnny for the rest of his life. 

“Yeah just before I was about to wake up, Alt explained everything. Guess I owe her the biggest favour known to mankind”

Valerie sat back in her chair as she took some time to process what Johnny told her. Even though she knew Johnny could lie, this was far too elaborate of a lie, even for him. Johnny knew when to fess up, to admit his guilt but this, this was legit. It would also explain how Johnny looked exactly the same as he did that night at Arasaka tower. Frozen in time. Alone. For fifty years. 

“Johnny... I- I don’t know what to say...” Valerie stuttered, failing to find the words.

“Before you say anything, don’t think this is your fault, or anyone’s. Arasaka are too good at covering their tracks so it was inevitable” Johnny said, trying to reassure Valerie.

She felt responsible regardless but kept it to herself for now.

“Shouldn’t Arasaka be looking for you right now? Speaking of Arasaka... if you wanted to put Saburo in his grave... I’m afraid Yorinobu beat you to it”

Valerie remember seeing it all over the news. The death of Saburo Arasaka. Of course, it was ruled as a poisoning, assassination but some things didn’t add up. Rumours had been floating around that Yorinobu killed him because of his rebellious nature towards his father. Valerie was more inclined to believe that than some random poisoning.

“Fuck...” Johnny breathed, seemingly not comprehending that his biggest thorn in the side was dead.

“Theres another thing I was wondering about too... now that you’re not... presumed dead, what are you gonna do now?” 

“Honestly, no fuckin’ clue. Can’t go back to playing with Samurai since I’m guessing it doesn’t exist anymore. Didn’t exactly plan to see the light of day again” Johnny said, putting out the remains of his cigarette.

“Well... if you have no plans, maybe it’s best you lay low just in case someone recognises you or Arasaka do decide to come looking for you” Valerie advised.

Johnny seemed to mull over the suggestion.

“Probably not a bad idea. Though, knowing me I won’t be able to sit on my ass forever. Might... hit up Rogue though I don’t think she would be too pleased to see me” Johnny proposed.

“Does anyone else know you’re still alive?”

“Other than Alt, you’re the only person. I’d rather let them know myself at my own pace. Probably isn’t gonna any easier considering you’re reaction”

Valerie felt herself mentally recoil at his statement but she still thought some of her anger towards him was valid. The same with the others and their own beef with Johnny.

“Okay. I won’t say a word to anyone”

“Thanks, V”

Johnny’s nickname for Valerie made her shudder. Nobody called her that but him. It got to the point she let no one call her that but Johnny. 

She looked at the time and it was nearing nine, her ride would be here soon.

“I’ll need to head, got work to do but feel free to take a shower. I’m assuming you haven’t had the chance have one in years?” Valerie said, with a smirk.

Johnny shook his head.

“I’m gonna ignore that... but thanks, again” 

Valerie got up from her seat and grabbed her jacket and phone. Before she head for the elevator, Johnny stopped her.

“Hey V”

She half turned towards him.

“It’s... good to see you”

Valerie smiled, warmly.

“You too Johnny, more than I’d like to admit”

The two parted ways.

—-

On the way to work, Valerie was phoned by her manager of a slight schedule change. The designer she’s to be modelling for had some last minute changes. Again. Though they are convinced it’s all ready to go otherwise. Her meeting with the BD director was first on the agenda. It seemed he had time to move their meeting.

The car pulled up to the side of the building. It wasn’t particularly outstanding or unique. It was quite wide rather than tall and was pretty much made up of concrete and steel.

Stepping out of the vehicle, Valerie was led inside. She followed a staff member down the long corridor, every few feet a door would appear on her left. Offices or studios she assumed.

She met with her manager before heading into an office on the second floor.

The office was rather luxurious but tacky in a way. Wood and gold paneling lined the walls as placards showing off the company’s achievements were hung up. There was a desk near the back where a window covered the entire wall, floor to ceiling. Before them was two black, leather couches faced each other with a glass coffee table in between.

The man in question they were to meet, Mack Dalton, stood from his office chair.

“Thank you for coming! Please, have a seat”

He was a fairly tall man, about six foot, and average build. He wore a generic corpo suit but with a splash of purple. The man had some cybernetic scars framing the sides of his face, stopping just before his dark brown hair and receding hairline. He looked to be about his late 30s if Valerie had to guess.

He brought over some water for them as the meeting commenced.

It was pretty boring, if Valerie had to sum it up. Just going over the technicalities, dates of dress rehearsals, expected days for shooting but one thing was bothering her. Throughout the whole meeting, the man’s eyes were almost glued to Valerie. She as used to looks and stares but this was bordering on excessive. If he was trying to be subtle then he failed, miserably. Dalton’s eyes wondered as she would take sips of water, wanting to spit it out again. Of course, her manager was completely oblivious to what was going on, too invested in taking notes and organising schedules to notice. He would quickly lick his lips whenever she would shift in place or fidget with her hands. Valerie had had enough.

Before she could say anything, her manager piped up.

“Everything sounds great, we should be ready to go. We’ll be here next week for dress rehearsal”

“Great! Thank you again for agreeing to this. It will be a great boost for all of us”

Him and her manager were already standing to say they’re goodbyes. He shook her hand first and then Valerie’s. He clasped his other hand around hers like a clamp, not willing to let go just yet.

“It was a pleasure to meet with you Valerie”

His gaze was oppressive as she struggled to meet it in return. She wanted to vomit.

“Likewise” she gritted, not wanting to make a scene.

As soon as he let go, Valerie was first out the door. She just wanted today to be over.

A few hours had passed and she was finally at the studio, ready to model the hell out of some clothes. If there was one thing she didn’t mind about this job, it was modelling for clothes. She enjoyed the artistic vision that designers had. If she was lucky, they would let her have some of the clothes.

Valerie was glad the clothes were in one piece this time because she was in love. 

The general aesthetic of the clothing line was slightly avante garde with a formal and classy twist. She wore a long dark coat with a large fur collar, the back cut out to show the line down her back. There was also a pencil dress with gold fins that cascaded down the front and multiples straps hanging off her shoulders, hugging her arms.

Valerie was halfway done, everyone taking a break before continuing. She sat in a chair off to the side in a plush robe. She was enjoying the quiet time to herself when her phone buzzed. Picking it up nonchalantly, she froze at the name on her screen. She answered.

“Rogue”

“Valerie. We need to talk”


	4. Chapter. 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! :)
> 
> It’s been a hot minute since I last posted ngl,,, I’ve had this partly written for ages but uni work and fatigue have been kicking my ass so it took me ages to write it out.
> 
> I’ve mostly just been trying to lay down the foundation of this story before getting into the meaty bits but more Johnny interactions are coming!
> 
> Thank you and enjoy :)

“Valerie. We need to talk”

The sound of the older woman’s voice sounded through her phone and Valerie took a moment to respond. They hadn’t spoke to each other in years. 

A sigh escaped her lips, louder than she intended.

“It’s nice to talk to you too Rogue, how’ve you been?” Valerie’s sarcasm earning her a sigh in return from the older woman.

“Look, I’m-“ the background noise of the Afterlife filled the silence as Rogue paused “I wouldn’t have called if it wasn’t important”

“I know what this is about and I’m not sure there’s anymore to say” Valerie said, fiddling with the sash of her dressing gown.

“Valerie please, I’m- I’m worried and you’re the only one I can trust to hear me out” Rogue’s concerned voice rung in her ear.

“I’m not your therapist Rogue. You just have to deal with this on your own. Don’t think for a second I owe you anything” Valerie bit back, feeling her temper rising.

“Valerie... I-I know just... meet me at the Afterlife when you can”

Her phone clicked before she got a chance to respond. Godammit Rogue!

Saying they had a rocky relationship was an understatement. They never really got a long fully from the start. Rogue being Johnny’s ex-girlfriend and their clashing personalities, their friendship was fated to fail, yet they still are. Well, where. For some time now. Valerie made sure to stay clear of the woman. She didn’t know why she still had her number saved. Maybe she had this dumb glimmer of hope that things could be different, that she would call her and things would be the same like they use to be. That Valerie wasn’t still mad at her for lying to her when she promised she wouldn’t.

Valerie threw the device into her bag and grabbed the cup of water that sat abandoned on the table next her. She downed the entire thing and rested her head in her hand.

Everything was starting to resurface. All the hurt, the pain, and sadness from her past was coming back to bite her. She cursed herself for cutting her therapy short when she was first able to afford it. She knew Rogue all too well. She knew she was the queen of the Afterlife. An infamous fixer that you had pay handsomely to even get a drop of information. Any information from Rogue was worth its own weight in gold and more. Valerie wasn’t a part of that life, a life of a merc. Sure she could hold her own, shoot a gun or swing a knife if need be but it wasn’t something she was made for. Another difference between the two that started more arguments than she would like to admit.

Before she could debate whether to meet with Rogue, her break had come to an end and she was called back.

—-

The photo shoot had ended with some success and Valerie was now on her way to an interview with some fashion publication. She had her hands clasped in her lap as she stared blankly out the window as her manager chatted to some person on the holo about something important that she was too zoned out to take note of. 

All she could think about was Rogue, the Afterlife... Johnny... She wondered what he was doing now, what he was going to do with his second chance at life. She couldn’t deny she was somewhat considering meeting with Rogue despite her head screaming at her not to, to put her foot down but she ignored any indication that this would be a bad idea. If Rogue was worried about Johnny, then she felt like she had to hear her out, personal grudges aside. Could he be in major trouble? Better question. Is he going to cause major trouble? Surely he wouldn’t be that stupid... but this was Johnny she was talking about. He rarely gave much thought to anything, especially his half-baked plans. The fact he ended up in an undead state with his stunt at Arasaka was enough to dissuade anyone from pulling shit like that again. The unfortunate thing about Silverhand is that he was too prideful and narcissistic to admit to his faults. If it wasn’t everyone else that is the problem, it would be him and he couldn’t have that.

“Valerie are you listening?” Her manager piped up, pulling Valerie from her thoughts.

“H-huh? Sorry you were saying something?” She answered, lamely.

The woman huffed.

“For the interview, you need to hype up our brand as much you can. A lot of important people treat this publication like it’s gospel so we can’t fuck this up. We got one chance. One. You hear me?” Her tone was stern, as if she was talking to an infant.

God help her.

“Yes ma’am”

—-

Despite the reprimanding from her manager in the car, the interview went well. Valerie made sure to sweeten her words and double down on the positives of the company, even if she was exaggerating a bit. Either way, her manager was happy and Valerie was happy because she didn’t have to face the woman’s wrath. Valerie was in a good mood until she remembered where she was headed next. Right. The Afterlife.

She couldn’t show up in her usual swanky, corpo-esque car with a chauffeur to boot. Valerie didn’t want to draw unwanted and unnecessary attention to herself, being a somewhat high-profile public figure.

She shrugged off her manager’s insistance that she use the car the company had paid for if she was to go anywhere, instead favouring something else she had in mind. Valerie was sure it wasn’t far from here.

“I’m a big girl, I can take care of myself” she waved with a smirk, leaving the building and the fuming woman behind.

It felt odd to be walking out in public by herself. Once upon a time she wouldn’t give it much thought, now she felt far too aware of herself and the people around her. Some would give her a quick glance and others would stand and stare as if they saw some exotic creature. It didn’t bother her. She learned to ignore the ogling years ago.

The sun was setting in between the skyscrapers, god rays shining through cracks of a nearby multi-storied car park. Many of the walls and buildings had been graffitied by the local gang, the Valentinos. Compared to most of the graffiti in Night City, theirs where some of her favourite. The artworks being very religious in nature, she admired the aesthetics that the gang had adopted and lived by.

Rounding the corner down an alleyway, she neared her destination. She came up to rows of garages, locating one that belonged to her. Pulling the key from her purse that she always kept on her person, she unlocked the door and lifted it with ease. Valerie didn’t come here often but it was a little space that she kept to remind her of her roots. She remembered the day she bought it. It wasn’t as nice as an apartment but it was all she could afford. She was just glad she had a roof over head and somewhere to sleep.

She was immediately greeted by her trusty vehicle, the Quadra Turbo-R V-Tech, nicknamed ‘Queeny’. It wasn’t the newest or shiniest wheels around but the rough but charming black and gold metal finish was pleasing to the eye.

Heading to the side room off of the main garage, she unlocked the door with the keypad. The small room smelled a bit musty after not being used in so long. She visited the place every now and then to make sure nothing was out of place but she never had the time to clean up. Locating the locker that stood by the bed, she swung the door open and grabbed a jacket that hung inside. It was her old leather jacket when she had became an important member of Samurai. Despite her just following the band around, she managed to get to know the members and became good friends with them. Valerie didn’t think she would ever play such an important role within the group but she was quite resourceful and even helped land the group gigs. From a groupie to an unofficial manager. Probably one of her proudest achievements.

The worn leather felt familiar in her fingers, metal studs decorated the borders of the lapels without one missing. A patch on the right sleeve still hung on despite some loose threads and fraying. Flipping the garment around, her gaze landed upon the dominant symbol of Samurai. The demonic being almost stared back with its stern gaze and crimson face.

Laying the jacket on the bed, she grabbed a pair of old, worn jean shorts and slipped them on over her clothing. Removing her jacket, she put the older one on. The familiar fabric hung on her shoulders but she could tell it fitted a bit looser than she remembered. She guessed all the strict dieting from her occupation somehow slimmed her even further than she was before.

Putting on a pair of earrings that had laid dormant in a box on her desk, she left the room but she found she wasn’t alone.

A rather buff man stood at the entrance of the garage, inspecting her ride as he rubbed his chin with one hand. His jacket was quite bulky, adding to his already big size. Dark cyberware decorated his cheeks, nose bridge as well as running down his strong jawline and neck. He wore various pieces of gold jewellery, a staple of the Valentinos but something told Valerie he wasn’t one of them.

The man didn’t seem to notice Valerie standing in the doorway and she cleared her throat to announce her presence.

“O-oh! Sorry, I didn’t see you there Chica” he said awkwardly, standing to attention. He sounded a lot kinder than she had anticipated but her focus didn’t waver.

“If you were thinking of nabbing my wheels then you can think again” Valerie stood her ground, arms folded.

The man chuckled and shook his head and arms.

“No no no you got me all wrong, I was just checking it out. Heh, sweet ride you got” he smiled, shifting about on the spot.

Valerie was still deciding wether the man was still a threat or not but the increasing awkward comments made her slowly believe otherwise.

“Uh huh” she dragged out, unimpressed.

A hint of worry shone in eyes.

“Uh... I own the unit next to you if that will convince you I’m innocent” the man invited, pointing with his thumb.

She really didn’t have time for this but she’d rather be safe than sorry.

“Go on then... show me” she relented.

Valerie followed him outside to the garage next door as he fiddled with the lock, unlocking the door. At first glance, it didn’t seem too eye-catching on the inside but the weight lifting bench at the side and half-nude lady posters on the wall were enough to convince her that it indeed belonged to him.

“Ok ok I believe you-” she let a out small laugh at her own paranoia, “got a nice ride on you as well” she said, referring to the parked bike with a wave of her hand.

The man beamed at her.

“I’m glad you and I have the same taste! She’s my pride and joy!” the man said enthusiastically, approaching the bike.

Valerie could tell it was well looked after, not a scratch in sight and the paint job was immaculate.

She was about to head back to her own unit but the man cut in before she could.

“The name’s Jackie by the way, since we’re neighbours and all” he smiled, holding out his hand. Valerie was surprised by the hospitality but shook his hand with a smile of her own.

“Valerie” she simply responded.

“Nice to meet you- hey uh, you seem kind of familiar. Feels like I’ve seen your face before” Jackie commented, her hand slipping from his.

“Maybe you’ve seen me around here” Valerie inputed, not wanting to let on to her public status.

“Nah I would’ve remembered if I saw you around... Wait!- I know!-“ Valerie groaned internally, “You’re that chick that’s on all the fancy perfume ads!” He pointed a finger in her direction as it dawned upon him of her true identity.

“Yup... that’s me...” Valerie said, trying to match his energy but fell short. Was perfume and corporate advertising going to be her only legacy?

“It’s funny! I’m so used to seeing your face everywhere that I didn’t recognise you right away!- uh well... I just didn’t expect someone like you to be here uh... though that’s totally fine. I get it. You want you’re own little getaway from the glitz and glamour” Jackie accentuated his ending statement with small jazz hands.

Valerie chuckled with a small shake of her head.

“I owned the unit well before anyone knew my face but it definitely has its uses”

“How d’you mean Chica? You’d have to have been in your teens, how did you afford it?” Jackie asked, naively.

The man’s assumption of her age made her laugh out loud. He was caught off guard by her outburst as he tried to laugh nervously with her.

“I think you’re mistaken, I’m 86 years old” Valerie wiped away a tear at the corner of her.

“Dios mio...” To say Jackie looked shell shocked was an understatement.

“Don’t worry about it-“ Valerie gave him a kind smile, “It’s amazing what money can do for a person even if they tell you it won’t bring you happiness. Trust me. I’d rather be youthful and sad than old and sad” Valerie humoured.

“Amen to that. Been working my ass off to even get a drop of the good life. Haven’t gotten there yet but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t happy with what I got going right now” Jackie reminisced, fondness in his eyes.

Valerie almost forgot what it felt like to live in poverty, day in and day out living dangerously close to the edge. Her little garage was all she could afford at the time and she remembered well the countless nights of barely eating anything. It still pained her to this day that there was still thousands of people living rougher than she ever has and there wasn’t much she could do. Night City was not a charitable place by any stretch of the imagination. It was every person for themselves and kindness rarely came without a price tag.

“Well, it was nice meeting you Jackie. Maybe I’ll see you around?” 

“You too Chica. Of course! Next time we see each other we should go for some drinks. Who knows? This might be the start of a beautiful friendship”

Valerie chuckled, looking over her shoulder.

“You might not realise it yet but by the sounds of things, you’re already living the good life”

—-

Driving down the streets of Night City, the sound of Queeny was music to her ears as the engine purred at her inputs. Valerie missed driving. Having someone else do it for her got old really fast. Flying cars were worse the times she got to ride in them.

She had tuned to a radio station playing rock and surprisingly they were playing some of Samurai’s most popular hits. Valerie knew there was still some die-hard fans of the band still kicking about but there had been a resurgence in old rock that had become trendy again. Not to mention the odd bystander wearing a t-shirt of the Samurai logo. Whether they knew about the band was to be unlikely as the wearers were definitely way too young to have known the band in their heyday. Though, it made her feel less old knowing rock was still popular.

Coming up on a turn, she pulled her vehicle in to the small car park out front of the bar. She parked it in the only available spot and turned the engine off. She sat there for a moment, basking in the quiet of the car and the murmuring of people loitering outside. Bracing her body against the steering wheel with her arms, she contemplated wether she wanted to go through with this. She felt as though walking through those doors would be the beginning of something she wasn’t going to like but she persevered none the less.

Stepping out into the cool, night air, Valerie walked with purpose to the entrance, the people around stepping out of her way. It was like they could feel an intense aura around her.

Descending the small staircase, feeling the thump of the music in her bones, she approached the bouncer.

The man definitely looked like he was born to be muscle. Well over six foot tall and as wide as a door.

“Name” he said, gruffly.

“Valerie” she replied, in a quieter voice than she meant to. She’d rather not draw more attention to herself than she already did.

The bouncer simply nodded, stepping aside as the doors opened for her like curtains on a stage.

The place was packed. Crowds of people swarmed the bar and any available open space. The music was loud but the people were louder.

Not knowing where to start, Valerie tried to head to the bar, hoping to flag down a bartender to direct her to Rogue. Easier said than done. Squeezing her body through the crowds of people, she regretted coming here. On a Friday night of all times.

Spilling someone’s drink and stepping on several toes, she made it to the counter. Trying to get the bartender’s attention was another hurdle. The woman was preoccupied trying to get as many drinks made as she possibly could. There was a few others but they’d seemed to be less experienced as she was leading them and making sure they didn’t screw up.

Valerie finally managed to get her attention, the woman seeming a bit frazzled.

“Hi there! Sorry it’s a bit hectic in here. What can I get for ya?” She blew a piece of stray hair from her face, ponytail flicking behind her.

“Can you tell me where I can find Rogue?” Valerie asked, raising her voice so she could be heard over the music.

“Sorry honey, Rogue ain’t taking merc jobs at the moment. You might want to come back tomorrow when it’s a lil’ quieter”

“I’m not a merc-“ did the leather jacket really change her appearance that much? “She asked for me. I’m an old... friend...” she hesitated.

“Well ok then lemme see if I can get her over” the woman walked away to the other end of the bar, waving over the crowd to some corner she couldn’t see. Returning, the bartender tilted her head.

“She’s just on her way over”

Valerie turned her body, trying to spot her but she didn’t have to bother. People immediately got out of Rogue’s way, parting like the Red Sea.

“Valerie, come with me”

Rogue held her wrist as she was pulled back through the crowd, feeling several eyes on her. 

Weaving in and out of many sweaty bodies, they reached a backroom with ironically another, smaller room within. Well, maybe more like a very high-tech booth.

Sitting down inside on the plush, leather seats, the door sealed shut behind them. There was a deafening silence that indicated to Valerie that this was a soundproof room. It also meant whatever Rogue had to say was to not leave this room. Her heart beat a little faster at the thought.

“Valerie... I’ll get straight to the point” Rogue said, bracing herself on her knees.

“I think Johnny might be planning to get back at everyone who fucked him over”

Valerie sat there with no response, legs and arms crossed over trying to be as stoic as possible.

“And who would that entail exactly?” Valerie asked, not moving an inch.

“Well, I don’t have an exact list but there was a few names he asked me about. Mostly where they are and what they’re doing now. Told him Greyson was still skulking about for Arasaka and Smasher had been appointed head of security. Whether they are even still in Night City I have no clue”

Valerie rested her hand against her mouth in thought.

“So... you’re worried he might go off and get himself killed again just so he can maybe get a shot at what? Flatlining the bastards?” Valerie laughed.

“Val I know it sounds stupid but-“ Rogue started but was quickly interrupted.

“Johnny can be a dumbass sometimes but if he’s smart as he thinks he is he’d stay away from them, especially Smasher-“ She stood from her seat and paced about the small space, “besides, if he wants to go get himself killed than he’s free to do so, I don’t care” Valerie turned to leave.

“You and I both know you do care actually” Rogue quipped.

Valerie froze, back to her. There was the Rogue she knew, seeping through her words like unwanted mould on the ceiling. In typical Rogue-fashion, she always said what people needed to hear, not what they wanted to hear. Always blunt. Valerie knew she was right but was too stubborn to admit otherwise.

“We may have been friends once but you don’t know me anymore Rogue” She spat, still facing the door.

Valerie heard shifting and then a presence behind her. Rogue cautiously placed a hand on her shoulder like she would break into a million pieces. Valerie let her.

“Val... I know we’ve had our differences but I- I still care about you. We can maybe still... figure this all out” Rogue confessed, her tone much softer. Valerie was glad for the privacy. They stood there for what felt like ages as Valerie tried to get her emotions in order. She didn’t know if she wanted to scream or cry.

“All it took was our dead friend coming back to life for you to finally reach out? To want anything to do with me?” Valerie grabbed her wrist, holding it midair as she turned to Rogue. She in turn had flint of fear and sadness in her eyes.

“Fuck off, Rogue”

Throwing her hand back at her, Valerie stormed out the room. Tears pricked at here eyes as she pushed people out of the way. She was determined to leave this place as soon as possible. Ignoring the several insults and complaints thrown her way as she ungracefully made her exit, cracks began to show in her mind as her world was beginning to shatter. To slowly fall away and eventually reveal that nothing has changed at all.

Leaping up the stairs of the club, she ran out into the crisp air. New groups of people hung about outside, Valerie feeling their unwanted eyes upon her form but she didn’t care. She just wanted to be far away from here, far away from this city.

Jumping in her car and starting the engine, she sped off onto the main road. She had only one place in mind that would allow her to be truly alone.

And there she went.


End file.
